my day went perfectly fine ! yay senang (: so i finally have a smooth-yet-interesting-and-not-boring-at-all-day after 2 days of roller coaster. und ein paar bemerkungen will ich gerne mitteilen :
a. pepatah hidup seperti roda itu emank bnr. n loe mgkn akan aga susah bwt admit hal itu sampe loe ngalamin sndiri. saat loe uda lulus trial n bs sampe k atas lagi, loe br akan realized kl mslh yg loe hadapin saat itu tnyt ga segitunya. toh loe bs sabar n tawakal ngelewatin apapun itu. contohnya wkt gw 2 hr kmrn rungsing ga karuan dtambah weather yg berantakan amitamit *masa lg panas enak² ada mthr tb² ujan deres pake es batu*. itu yg namanya kesel bingung harapharapcemas gondok pgn marah sedih smua campur jd 1 ky cendol. dtlvn nykp gw sensi. dtambah lg dtlvn sm org yg spanjang conversation kerjaannya ngjk ribut mulu. ih kl gw ga pny belas kasihan uda gw matiin tlvnny. heheh. tp toh hr ini wetternya perfekt bgd. schedule gw hr ini jg smuanya lwt dgn tentram even otak gw rasanya ciut gr² dijejelin sm rumus malthus *sampe skr gw gtw itu apaan* n anatomie siput n octopus plus tutorium inversfunktion. tiba² uda jm 2 n weekend uda jingkrak jingkrak ddpn mata n matahari bersinar dgn dosis yg tepat. yay im free !
b. try to be honest. jujur lah dgn siapa n ttg apa aja. egal gmn hasil akhirnya, yg penting loe jujur dlm bertindak. loe lega, yg dkch kejujuran jg seneng. smua hal itu bs di bargain. loe mgkn akan jrg dpt harga yg sama² enak bwt 2 pihak dlm wkt singkat tp jgn nyerah. gausa tll buru² tp jgn tll santai jg. tell u one thing : barang bgs ga akan tahan lama di pasaran. :p
c. dont u ever be a pretender. ga enak bgd rasanya. loe cape fisik n mental. pada saatnya akan ada 1 titik dmana loe ga tahan lg und du wirst in jeder sekunde explodieren können. trust me itu ga enak bgd rasanya. senyum loe palsu, semangat loe palsu, aura loe palsu, gigi loe palsu *loh ?!* yah pokonya smua palsu lah. loe ky naruh mie rebus d kepala loe n blg k smua org kl loe abis cat rambut jd wrn kuning. hallo. it is absolutely fake n stupid !
d. menjadi lebay sekalikali itu ga rugi. i did it last night n i get the smile back on my face (: emank susah sih. kl loe pd dasarnya pny kepala n otak yg 60% adonan dasarnya adalah batu kali, saat harus lebay emank kyny jijik bgd. eww gimanaa gt. tp one day akan ada waktunya dmana loe einfach hrs bersikap lebay demi keselamatan hidup loe. hahah apaan sih tei ? ya ga lah. sekuatkuatnya loe, pasti ada 1 tempat dalm diri loe yg sbnrny empuk bgd tp jarang kesentuh aja. once u touch it, u will get addicted. yg empuk emank lbh enak ! :p
e. live ur life like u have no tomorrow. cliché i know. u wont get what i mean unless u were once in my position. cb deh bikin seneng org² yg ada d skitar loe. smile at them, ask them how their day was, give them some attention, open the door in front of u n keep it opened for other people *in case u are also passing through* etc. tell u 1 more thing : ein lächeln kostet nichts ! loe cm perlu menarik 13 otot wajah untuk menghasilkan sebuah senyuman bombastis yg bs loe tularkan k sesama loe. sedangkan untuk merengut loe butuh 27 otot wajah. uda gt kl manyun mulu jg lama² muka loe pegel, cpt peyot, ga enak diliat, n loe pny probabilitas plng kerumah dgn pipi bonyok gr² dtonjok sm 1 org yg mgkn lg sensi n ga suka liat muka loe. heheh. coba loe senyum deh. tuh, manis kaan ? ya kan ya donkk ? *eww. im disgusting i know*
uda ah. jd kotbah gini gw. pokonya intinya hauptsache gw seneng. gonna get another great weekend n i wont waste it for sure ! yay !
Friday, May 22, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
giant roller coaster called life
astaga. for the first time here i realized that living alone abroad itu SUSAH. ga gt kyny. yg bener itu SUSAH². bwarghh ! seinget gw yah, bukannya gw lg sombong ato apa, gw ga pnh ngerasa yg sesusah ini sebelumnya.
wkt ga dpt zulassung studkol frankfurt rasanya emank ga enak, tp gw mch bs nyantai nunggu zulassung dr mainz. wkt hrs kerja hampir stiap hr pas lbrn december - februari kmrn emank kyny badan rontok bgd, tp ini seharian d kampus aja bs bkin gw tepar malemnya. wkt dpt nilai jelek pas studkol emank bkin takut ga lulus fsp, tp skr kl gw ga bs ngerjain online aufgabe yg nongol stiap hr rabu stiap minggu d inet tuh gw bs kebakaran jenggot sndiri. wkt kmrn down krn winter dingin bgd n hrs natalan sndirian bwt yg kedua kalinya emank miserable bgd, tp even skr matahari uda mulai srg absen n gw ga hrs pake coat tebel stiap kluar rumah, gw mlh jd sering mikirin rumah n nykp. wkt pertama kali liat rechnung o2 40 euro refleks gw lgs recall kontostand, tp saat itu gw mch kerja n krankenkasse jg mch privat jd mch bs dteken. nah skr giliran rechnungnya dreiundachtzig euro gw mlh baruu aja kündigen dr kerjaan n baru ganti gesetzliche krankenkasse yg notabene ngabisin 65 euro pro monat. whats wrong with u, stella ?
hrsny ini ga jd mslh yg tll besar ya. hrsny gw bs me-maintain mood dgn jauh lbh baik skr krn sdikit bnyk gw uda tw lah gw butuh apa saat gw merasa gimana. hrsny box arrangement-nya uda slsai dr kmrn² statt still in progress ky skr. hrsny hdp gw bs tertata lbh rapi skr stlh nyaris 2 taun überleben dsini. but yeah. shit happens, rite ? n kadang shit itu keraas bgd sampe² loe hrs ngeden dgn tenaga extra spy poop loe tuntas. err. maaf ya. gw jg gtw knp gw mlh menganalogikan sikon gw skr dgn shit n poop. tp bnr deh. gw ga nemu perumpamaan lain yg lbh pas drpd itu. kl stlh baca ini loe jd ilfeel sm tulisan² gw jg gw gada mslh smskl. toh blog gw emank fungsinya bwt jd private trashbin gw walopun gw sadar penuh, nulis d blog itu kadang bs memicu mslh baru. entah org jd asik berspekulasi atas diri loe, entah ada yg rebek bgd sampe nanya² mulu, entah ada yg krg kerjaan bgd sampe ngetrack blog loe, entah ada yg ember trus abis baca dy sebar luasin k org lain *yg ini rada ga mgkn. scara gw bukan org terkenal n gw jg ga pnh ngmgin org terkenal maupun org ga terkenal d blog gw slain sepupu gw sndiri* entah lah. i never really care. yg penting uneg² gw keluar n kepala gw bs jd lbh kosong even bwt sesaat.
mgkn skr saatnya melihat dgn perspektif yg jauh lbh simple. mencoba percaya kl mslh yg ada ddpn kita skr itu cm seujung kuku. next time, next week, next year pasti akan dtg mslh² yg bobotnya jauh lbh berat dr ini. n kl kita ga bs lewatin trial yg skr, kita ga akan pnh bs lulus trial² berikutnya. even a baby hrs kenal sm yg namanya merangkak dl sblum dy bs jalan n lari. and there will always be a price to pay or to be paid. harga yg hrs loe bayar ato ganjaran *bad or good* yg akan loe terima itu biasanya ada d akhir cerita. skr tugas loe cm acting sebagus mgkn ddpn camera kehidupan spy sutradara loe ga hrs beratus² kali teriak CUT ! or spy bayaran loe nanti memuaskan. gmn cara beracting yg total ? well gw gtw. stiap org pny tips n tricks msg² yg ga bs berlaku bwt org lain. basicnya mgkn sama, tp aplikasi n prakteknya bs beda² tergantung sikon tmp shooting loe.
skr gw ga percaya jam d laptop gw nunjukkin angka 22.54 malam. naja. anw laptop gw mch ttp gada suaranya even ga gw mute n systemsteuerungnya jg uda d check. does it mean that i gotta get a new one for me soon ? hahah. ga lah. bwt rechnung o2 aja gw lg mikir² mw bayar pake bulu kaki ato bulu idung. ini mlh sok²an mw pny laptop baru. pamitan yaa. smoga bsk pagi gw mch smpt ngafalin anatomie spülwurm gw tercinta bwt kurztest hr rabu. wish me luck !
wkt ga dpt zulassung studkol frankfurt rasanya emank ga enak, tp gw mch bs nyantai nunggu zulassung dr mainz. wkt hrs kerja hampir stiap hr pas lbrn december - februari kmrn emank kyny badan rontok bgd, tp ini seharian d kampus aja bs bkin gw tepar malemnya. wkt dpt nilai jelek pas studkol emank bkin takut ga lulus fsp, tp skr kl gw ga bs ngerjain online aufgabe yg nongol stiap hr rabu stiap minggu d inet tuh gw bs kebakaran jenggot sndiri. wkt kmrn down krn winter dingin bgd n hrs natalan sndirian bwt yg kedua kalinya emank miserable bgd, tp even skr matahari uda mulai srg absen n gw ga hrs pake coat tebel stiap kluar rumah, gw mlh jd sering mikirin rumah n nykp. wkt pertama kali liat rechnung o2 40 euro refleks gw lgs recall kontostand, tp saat itu gw mch kerja n krankenkasse jg mch privat jd mch bs dteken. nah skr giliran rechnungnya dreiundachtzig euro gw mlh baruu aja kündigen dr kerjaan n baru ganti gesetzliche krankenkasse yg notabene ngabisin 65 euro pro monat. whats wrong with u, stella ?
hrsny ini ga jd mslh yg tll besar ya. hrsny gw bs me-maintain mood dgn jauh lbh baik skr krn sdikit bnyk gw uda tw lah gw butuh apa saat gw merasa gimana. hrsny box arrangement-nya uda slsai dr kmrn² statt still in progress ky skr. hrsny hdp gw bs tertata lbh rapi skr stlh nyaris 2 taun überleben dsini. but yeah. shit happens, rite ? n kadang shit itu keraas bgd sampe² loe hrs ngeden dgn tenaga extra spy poop loe tuntas. err. maaf ya. gw jg gtw knp gw mlh menganalogikan sikon gw skr dgn shit n poop. tp bnr deh. gw ga nemu perumpamaan lain yg lbh pas drpd itu. kl stlh baca ini loe jd ilfeel sm tulisan² gw jg gw gada mslh smskl. toh blog gw emank fungsinya bwt jd private trashbin gw walopun gw sadar penuh, nulis d blog itu kadang bs memicu mslh baru. entah org jd asik berspekulasi atas diri loe, entah ada yg rebek bgd sampe nanya² mulu, entah ada yg krg kerjaan bgd sampe ngetrack blog loe, entah ada yg ember trus abis baca dy sebar luasin k org lain *yg ini rada ga mgkn. scara gw bukan org terkenal n gw jg ga pnh ngmgin org terkenal maupun org ga terkenal d blog gw slain sepupu gw sndiri* entah lah. i never really care. yg penting uneg² gw keluar n kepala gw bs jd lbh kosong even bwt sesaat.
mgkn skr saatnya melihat dgn perspektif yg jauh lbh simple. mencoba percaya kl mslh yg ada ddpn kita skr itu cm seujung kuku. next time, next week, next year pasti akan dtg mslh² yg bobotnya jauh lbh berat dr ini. n kl kita ga bs lewatin trial yg skr, kita ga akan pnh bs lulus trial² berikutnya. even a baby hrs kenal sm yg namanya merangkak dl sblum dy bs jalan n lari. and there will always be a price to pay or to be paid. harga yg hrs loe bayar ato ganjaran *bad or good* yg akan loe terima itu biasanya ada d akhir cerita. skr tugas loe cm acting sebagus mgkn ddpn camera kehidupan spy sutradara loe ga hrs beratus² kali teriak CUT ! or spy bayaran loe nanti memuaskan. gmn cara beracting yg total ? well gw gtw. stiap org pny tips n tricks msg² yg ga bs berlaku bwt org lain. basicnya mgkn sama, tp aplikasi n prakteknya bs beda² tergantung sikon tmp shooting loe.
skr gw ga percaya jam d laptop gw nunjukkin angka 22.54 malam. naja. anw laptop gw mch ttp gada suaranya even ga gw mute n systemsteuerungnya jg uda d check. does it mean that i gotta get a new one for me soon ? hahah. ga lah. bwt rechnung o2 aja gw lg mikir² mw bayar pake bulu kaki ato bulu idung. ini mlh sok²an mw pny laptop baru. pamitan yaa. smoga bsk pagi gw mch smpt ngafalin anatomie spülwurm gw tercinta bwt kurztest hr rabu. wish me luck !
Sunday, May 17, 2009
addicted ?
actually i dont really know what im gonna write in here. there were too many random things happened recently n i just cant help to classified them in boxes so i can get more free space in my head. but i got a very nice weekend for sure (: except that part on saturday morning. well its okay its over n lets turn into new page
first i got chemistry n math excercises which should be done before monday and wednesday. and sadly gw belum sentuh satupun. das problem ist einfach nur dass ich drauf gar keine lust hab. ich hatte 3 sau geile wochenenden nacheinander and im still craving for more. i just cant get enough. addicted ? hahah. nur der himmel weißt ! trus apa hubungannya geile wochenenden sm keine lust auf übungen ? ganz einfach : mood gw skr mood happy happy mulu ni. aber hallo. tgl 21 mei gw lbr. tgl 1 juni gw lbr lg. parah bgd gmn bawaannya jd ga pgn nyantai² mulu kl ky gt. huff
anw ngmg² tgl 21 mei. taun lalu tgl segitu gw lg otw k amsterdam k tmp anyo. anyo itu tmn gw sejak smp yg december 2008 kmrn mninggal krn leukämie. wish i could turn back the time, gw pgn bgd bikin foto yg bnyk slama gw 3 hr d amsterdam. wish i could capture more moments with him as long as he was still alive. wish i could be more usefull as a friend for him. its been a year since last may but it feels just like yesterday. sabtu dpan nykp gw ulang taun ke 45. 2 tmn gw ulang taun ke 20. umur mereka nambah lg 1 taun. tambah tua pasti. tambah dewasa n open minded ? nah itu gw gtw deh ya. kdg mind set yg uda tertanam dr kecil is difficult to be ajusted. hahah
dan kadang loe ga harus jalan jauh² to get ur happiness or to know where the rainbow ends. just take a look around n maybe they are sitting down there near ur toe. n yes, i get my happiness. the newest happiness came on friday eve (: what it was, i ll let u all to use ur imagination. im getting sleepy now by 8.50 pm n its not weird. hab fürs ganze wochenende insgesamt nur 10 std geschlafen. hahah. i think i ll finish my hw first before i sleep. well lick u around !
shit maan ! vermisse dich !
first i got chemistry n math excercises which should be done before monday and wednesday. and sadly gw belum sentuh satupun. das problem ist einfach nur dass ich drauf gar keine lust hab. ich hatte 3 sau geile wochenenden nacheinander and im still craving for more. i just cant get enough. addicted ? hahah. nur der himmel weißt ! trus apa hubungannya geile wochenenden sm keine lust auf übungen ? ganz einfach : mood gw skr mood happy happy mulu ni. aber hallo. tgl 21 mei gw lbr. tgl 1 juni gw lbr lg. parah bgd gmn bawaannya jd ga pgn nyantai² mulu kl ky gt. huff
anw ngmg² tgl 21 mei. taun lalu tgl segitu gw lg otw k amsterdam k tmp anyo. anyo itu tmn gw sejak smp yg december 2008 kmrn mninggal krn leukämie. wish i could turn back the time, gw pgn bgd bikin foto yg bnyk slama gw 3 hr d amsterdam. wish i could capture more moments with him as long as he was still alive. wish i could be more usefull as a friend for him. its been a year since last may but it feels just like yesterday. sabtu dpan nykp gw ulang taun ke 45. 2 tmn gw ulang taun ke 20. umur mereka nambah lg 1 taun. tambah tua pasti. tambah dewasa n open minded ? nah itu gw gtw deh ya. kdg mind set yg uda tertanam dr kecil is difficult to be ajusted. hahah
dan kadang loe ga harus jalan jauh² to get ur happiness or to know where the rainbow ends. just take a look around n maybe they are sitting down there near ur toe. n yes, i get my happiness. the newest happiness came on friday eve (: what it was, i ll let u all to use ur imagination. im getting sleepy now by 8.50 pm n its not weird. hab fürs ganze wochenende insgesamt nur 10 std geschlafen. hahah. i think i ll finish my hw first before i sleep. well lick u around !
shit maan ! vermisse dich !
Thursday, May 14, 2009
19 going on 20
i am 16 going on 17
i know that im naive
fellows i meet may tell me im sweet
and willingly i believe
i am 16 going on 17
innocent as a rose
bachelor dandies drinkers of brandies
what do i know of those ?
totally unprepared am i
to face a world of men
timid and shy and scared am i
of things beyond my ken
i need someone
older and wiser
telling me what to do
you are 17 going on 18
i ll depend on you
i am 19 going on 20 so whom will i depend on ?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
i hate that i hate u
i hate u
oh i really do
dont ask me why cuz i wont be able to explain
i hate gigling by myself everytime i read ur message on my cellphone
i hate seeing my inbox gets full just with ur messages
i hate myself everytime i have to delete some of them
i hate capturing ur name as one of those missed call list
i hate my heartpulse everytime u call me back again n again
i hate smiling at myself, laughing out loud anytime we talk each other *i know i have no behaviour*
i hate that butterfly feeling in my tummy everytime i see u online
i hate being stuck in the middle of the conversation cuz im running out of words
i hate being dumm n dumber anytime i couldnt understand ur jokes *dont i look like a stupido ?*
i hate being such a stubborn, thinking i wont fall asleep but in fact i do
i hate falling asleep for the thousand times
i hate my brain capacity, why are u so small ?
i hate it cuz i can barely remember what we were talking about last night
i hate talking while im sleeping
i hate everytime u tell me what i actually said when im too sobber to talk
i hate waking up in the morning, realizing that my earphones are still on my ear
i hate realizing i didnt brush my teeth n wash my face last night cuz i prefer to wait for ur call than to see ur number as a missed call as i go to the bathroom
i hate laying on my bed for quite a long time so i can rewind every single conversation we made
i hate sitting in front of my laptop, re-read-ing our chat
i hate wasting my time with this kind of habbit
i hate admiting and agreeing, this isnt a-wasting-time-habbit at all
i hate knowing the probability u will read this post
i hate wondering ur reaction after u read this junk
i hate waiting
i hate observing
i hate u
oh i really do
i hate laying here n dying except u would come n lay n die with me *ok i know its getting lebay now*
oh i really do
dont ask me why cuz i wont be able to explain
i hate gigling by myself everytime i read ur message on my cellphone
i hate seeing my inbox gets full just with ur messages
i hate myself everytime i have to delete some of them
i hate capturing ur name as one of those missed call list
i hate my heartpulse everytime u call me back again n again
i hate smiling at myself, laughing out loud anytime we talk each other *i know i have no behaviour*
i hate that butterfly feeling in my tummy everytime i see u online
i hate being stuck in the middle of the conversation cuz im running out of words
i hate being dumm n dumber anytime i couldnt understand ur jokes *dont i look like a stupido ?*
i hate being such a stubborn, thinking i wont fall asleep but in fact i do
i hate falling asleep for the thousand times
i hate my brain capacity, why are u so small ?
i hate it cuz i can barely remember what we were talking about last night
i hate talking while im sleeping
i hate everytime u tell me what i actually said when im too sobber to talk
i hate waking up in the morning, realizing that my earphones are still on my ear
i hate realizing i didnt brush my teeth n wash my face last night cuz i prefer to wait for ur call than to see ur number as a missed call as i go to the bathroom
i hate laying on my bed for quite a long time so i can rewind every single conversation we made
i hate sitting in front of my laptop, re-read-ing our chat
i hate wasting my time with this kind of habbit
i hate admiting and agreeing, this isnt a-wasting-time-habbit at all
i hate knowing the probability u will read this post
i hate wondering ur reaction after u read this junk
i hate waiting
i hate observing
i hate u
oh i really do
i hate laying here n dying except u would come n lay n die with me *ok i know its getting lebay now*
Friday, May 8, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
randomized
yippie ! hahah. gw gtw knp gw memulai blog gw kali ini dgn shoutout ky gitu. camen memang. entah lah. jd hr ini yah, gw bgn jm 7 sharp without alarm or any annoying things like that. i just woke up. on time. trus as usual hal pertama yg mampir d otak gw adalah : ini hr apa n msk jm brp ? ini hr kamis n gw vorlesung jm 8 ct. ct means cum tempore so the vorlesung will begin at 8.15 and not 8.00. kl vorlesungnya mulai jm 8 sharp, d stundenplan akan tertulis 8 st. das wort ist von lateinisch, sine tempore. aha
trus otak kembali ngch ordinary question : hr ini schedulenya ngapain aja ? hr ini hrsny vorlesung dr jm 8 - 12 siang. trus break trus ada tutorium jm 14 - 16 then the campus day would come to its end. sisanya gw lehaleha drmh, bkin tgs, ato arrange schedule bwt mgu dpn. anw arrange schedule yah, recently im thinking about my job. maybe i'll quit. dunno why, gw ngrasa staun lbh kerja mulu stiap weekend tuh cape jg. n this semester i need my time to rearrange my schedule. maybe i'll back to work in summer holiday. nah lalu gw menyadari 1 hal : gw ga akan masuk kuliah hr ini krn gw hrs perpanjang visa. akhirnya gw tdr lg sampe jm 8 trus jm 9 br jln k ausländerbehörde. jm 10.10 visum gw slsai. just in case u are wondering, i got 2 years visa. so im safe now. just have to learn well so i dont have to spend a lifetime in the univ. mslh visum selesai lalu ganti topik k mslh party bwt jumat. hr jumat ini mw ada party kecil drmh gw. tmn gw ulang taun 2 mgu yg lalu n skalian ngerayain itu, kita mw bkin einweihungsparty. itu ky acara open house bwt tetangga² yg serumah sm kita. terserah mrk mw dtg ato ga, tp yg pasti smua org yg tinggal drmh ini d undang. anzeigenya uda dpasang dbwh.
trus kmrn gw br ngbrl sm tmn² gw *fyi gw tinggal ber3 dsini. yg 1 org jerman yg 1 org rumänia* n hal² penting sind schon abgemacht. drmh gw skr ada 5 botol wine n 1 sekt. loe tinggal pilih mw rot, weiß, halbtrocken, lieblich, trocken, aus pfalz, aus frankreich, aus spanien. trus tmn gw bsk sore mw masak n gw mkr mw bawa bruschetta aja. jd entah tar sore stlh tutorium or bsk stlh vorlesungsende, gw mw k rewe blanja blanja. laluu. sabtu gw ada undangan mkn² jg dr tmn gw. so why not ? this should *and must* be another great weekend just like i had last week (: dan bwt kalian yg lg mkr n bersugesti kl weekend ini bkl jd sampah bgd, hey come on ! weekend yg ky gt toh ga cm ada 1x spanjang hdp loe. loe psti uda pnh ngalamin weekend yg krg lbh sama ato mgkn lbh buruk dr itu. n kalo emank nanti weekend loe bnr² bapuk busuk kacrut berat, yauda nikmatin aja. toh mch ada weekend² selanjutnya yg pasti lbh menantang ya kan ?
n wetter hr ini nyenengin bgd. die sonne scheint, es gibt keine wolken, lmyn breeze lah suasananya. bkin loe pgn kluar kelas trus jalan² kliling kota. heheh. gtw knp mood gw smooth bgd hr ini (ato saat ini). nanti sore n nanti malm gw gtw deh gmn. hopefully sih gada kejadian bodoh apapun yg bkin hr gw jd rusak. well i need my precious time. n bwt gw pribadi yah, stlh gw dlempar ksini, gw hrs memutuskan sndiri kpn gw mw pny mood kacrut n kpn gw mw pny mood prima. n gw jg hrs mikir sndiri gmn caranya gw ngedongkrak mood kacrut gw jd prima lg. itu basic thing bgd bwt gw. loe ga bs lg main² sm waktu n keadaan. slh langkah sdikit masa dpan loe bs ancur. n kdg gw ngrasa gw aga menghalalkan sgala cara spy gw bs dpt mood yg ok. gw kdg ga peduli apakah mood org lain akan affected saat gw lg bt. n gw jg ga peduli apakah gw scara sngaja ato ga sngaja merusak mood org lain saat gw lg berusaha ngebalikin mood gw. egal. yg pnting gw happy lg. heheh. sounds terrible i know. but for me, its all about surviving. its all i can do to survive. toh in the end of the day loe akan tumbuh jd individu sndiri². loe berdiri sndiri, mencari jln hdp loe sndiri, mngambil keputusan sndiri, menafkahi diri loe sndiri, n loe menghidupi hidup loe sndiri. there wont be mom dad sisters brothers or friends. they all have their own path. mgkn di 1 masa akan ada waktunya dmana loe sampe d crossroad yg sama dgn mrk. tp loe ga bs stlhny tb² ikut berbelok k arah yg sama krn mrk pny tujuan hdp msg² yg berbeda dgn loe. ah cliché n boring.
tp kl loe tny gw yah. gw gmw cepet² menyelesaikan halaman journey of life yg skr lg gw tulis. gw gmw cepet² tutup buku krn mch ada tll bnyk hal menarik menantang membingungkan yg nunggu gw d ujung jln sana. gw gmw menulis cerita yg slh yg pd akhirnya bkin org yg bc jd boring. gw jg gmw kl buku gw nanti hrs kena editing sana sini berulang² n akhirnya yg siap published cm 20 hlmn doank. gw mw bkin buku yg stiap kali dcetak ulang akan selalu sold out n isinya ga berubah n ga bkin org yg beli jd nyesel. n gw mw saat gw harus menutup buku itu, gw memang uda dalam kondisi siap untuk menutup buku. dan tersenyum saat menoleh ke belakang (:
trus otak kembali ngch ordinary question : hr ini schedulenya ngapain aja ? hr ini hrsny vorlesung dr jm 8 - 12 siang. trus break trus ada tutorium jm 14 - 16 then the campus day would come to its end. sisanya gw lehaleha drmh, bkin tgs, ato arrange schedule bwt mgu dpn. anw arrange schedule yah, recently im thinking about my job. maybe i'll quit. dunno why, gw ngrasa staun lbh kerja mulu stiap weekend tuh cape jg. n this semester i need my time to rearrange my schedule. maybe i'll back to work in summer holiday. nah lalu gw menyadari 1 hal : gw ga akan masuk kuliah hr ini krn gw hrs perpanjang visa. akhirnya gw tdr lg sampe jm 8 trus jm 9 br jln k ausländerbehörde. jm 10.10 visum gw slsai. just in case u are wondering, i got 2 years visa. so im safe now. just have to learn well so i dont have to spend a lifetime in the univ. mslh visum selesai lalu ganti topik k mslh party bwt jumat. hr jumat ini mw ada party kecil drmh gw. tmn gw ulang taun 2 mgu yg lalu n skalian ngerayain itu, kita mw bkin einweihungsparty. itu ky acara open house bwt tetangga² yg serumah sm kita. terserah mrk mw dtg ato ga, tp yg pasti smua org yg tinggal drmh ini d undang. anzeigenya uda dpasang dbwh.
trus kmrn gw br ngbrl sm tmn² gw *fyi gw tinggal ber3 dsini. yg 1 org jerman yg 1 org rumänia* n hal² penting sind schon abgemacht. drmh gw skr ada 5 botol wine n 1 sekt. loe tinggal pilih mw rot, weiß, halbtrocken, lieblich, trocken, aus pfalz, aus frankreich, aus spanien. trus tmn gw bsk sore mw masak n gw mkr mw bawa bruschetta aja. jd entah tar sore stlh tutorium or bsk stlh vorlesungsende, gw mw k rewe blanja blanja. laluu. sabtu gw ada undangan mkn² jg dr tmn gw. so why not ? this should *and must* be another great weekend just like i had last week (: dan bwt kalian yg lg mkr n bersugesti kl weekend ini bkl jd sampah bgd, hey come on ! weekend yg ky gt toh ga cm ada 1x spanjang hdp loe. loe psti uda pnh ngalamin weekend yg krg lbh sama ato mgkn lbh buruk dr itu. n kalo emank nanti weekend loe bnr² bapuk busuk kacrut berat, yauda nikmatin aja. toh mch ada weekend² selanjutnya yg pasti lbh menantang ya kan ?
n wetter hr ini nyenengin bgd. die sonne scheint, es gibt keine wolken, lmyn breeze lah suasananya. bkin loe pgn kluar kelas trus jalan² kliling kota. heheh. gtw knp mood gw smooth bgd hr ini (ato saat ini). nanti sore n nanti malm gw gtw deh gmn. hopefully sih gada kejadian bodoh apapun yg bkin hr gw jd rusak. well i need my precious time. n bwt gw pribadi yah, stlh gw dlempar ksini, gw hrs memutuskan sndiri kpn gw mw pny mood kacrut n kpn gw mw pny mood prima. n gw jg hrs mikir sndiri gmn caranya gw ngedongkrak mood kacrut gw jd prima lg. itu basic thing bgd bwt gw. loe ga bs lg main² sm waktu n keadaan. slh langkah sdikit masa dpan loe bs ancur. n kdg gw ngrasa gw aga menghalalkan sgala cara spy gw bs dpt mood yg ok. gw kdg ga peduli apakah mood org lain akan affected saat gw lg bt. n gw jg ga peduli apakah gw scara sngaja ato ga sngaja merusak mood org lain saat gw lg berusaha ngebalikin mood gw. egal. yg pnting gw happy lg. heheh. sounds terrible i know. but for me, its all about surviving. its all i can do to survive. toh in the end of the day loe akan tumbuh jd individu sndiri². loe berdiri sndiri, mencari jln hdp loe sndiri, mngambil keputusan sndiri, menafkahi diri loe sndiri, n loe menghidupi hidup loe sndiri. there wont be mom dad sisters brothers or friends. they all have their own path. mgkn di 1 masa akan ada waktunya dmana loe sampe d crossroad yg sama dgn mrk. tp loe ga bs stlhny tb² ikut berbelok k arah yg sama krn mrk pny tujuan hdp msg² yg berbeda dgn loe. ah cliché n boring.
tp kl loe tny gw yah. gw gmw cepet² menyelesaikan halaman journey of life yg skr lg gw tulis. gw gmw cepet² tutup buku krn mch ada tll bnyk hal menarik menantang membingungkan yg nunggu gw d ujung jln sana. gw gmw menulis cerita yg slh yg pd akhirnya bkin org yg bc jd boring. gw jg gmw kl buku gw nanti hrs kena editing sana sini berulang² n akhirnya yg siap published cm 20 hlmn doank. gw mw bkin buku yg stiap kali dcetak ulang akan selalu sold out n isinya ga berubah n ga bkin org yg beli jd nyesel. n gw mw saat gw harus menutup buku itu, gw memang uda dalam kondisi siap untuk menutup buku. dan tersenyum saat menoleh ke belakang (:
Monday, May 4, 2009
mau apa ?
2 minggu blkgn ini ga berjalan mulus bwt urusan pribadi gw. nobody knows except me n myself. knp ya. mgkn krn gw ngrasa gw ga pny tmp yg tepat untuk berbagi mslh ini. mgkn satu²nya org yg gw ceritain cm nykp. tp 2 minggu lalu jg gw ga bs ngmg sm nykp. krn gw sndiri saat itu lg bermasalah sm doi. n stlh itu gw sibuk ngampus, pergi kluar kota, akhirnya td kita br telvonan lg stlh skian lama. telvonan standard antara nykp n anaknya yg lg jd stranger d negara org. isinya cerita² minggu ini, pngalaman, ketakutan, happiness, secrets, dark sides, selingkuhan *oops* hahah. well anything.
so actually posting gw yg ini tertunda 4 jm dr published time yg seharusnya. stlh tutup tlvn ada bbrp kjadian yg tll menarik n sayang kl dlewatin. n somehow gw jg ga bs kabur dr kejadian² menarik itu krn mgkn itu uda tercantum d schedule hidup gw hr ini. in the end ? no regret. gw yakin jalan yg gw lewatin hr ini dmaksudkan untuk menjadi baik. menjadi lebih dr hari² sebelumnya. egal, lebih dlm hal apapun. gw ga menyesal krn sampe hr ini gw ttp blum bkin tgs mathe gw. gw ga menyesal krn hr ini gw sangat tidak produktif. mgkn entah gmn gw tw kl gw butuh energi extra bwt berpikir ttg hr ini. hari yg cm ada 1x spanjang hdp gw. unrepeated. n as usual : ada hal penting yg terjadi hr ini. heheh. se-ordinary apapun hr loe, pasti ada sesuatu yg mgkn dbawah alam sadar loe akan ikut mempengaruhi kelanjutan hdp loe d hari² selanjutnya. n keputusan yg loe ambil hr itu jg ikut bermain. menyesal ? puas ? biasa biasa aja ? naja terserah loe.
untuk ukuran seorang pemikir, mgkn gw masuk kelas kacangan. kacangnya jg mgkn kacang tanah biasa yg harganya ga mahal. n gw ga pnh mengclaim diri gw sbagai seorang pemikir. gw cm anak ga ingusan umur 19 taun 9 bln yg sok sok bijak dlm memandang hdp gw. gw cm berusaha bwt mengerti, knp ada hal² yg ga bs gw mengerti. nah bingung ga ? no big deal, gw jg bingung ko. jd drpd stlh baca blog gw jidat loe pd mengkerut smua, mnding ngmgin hal² yg santai aja. td gw br aja dtanya sm 1 org : mau loe apa sih ? taraa ! pertanyaan itu gw nobatkan as question of the day. bwt org yg ngerasa kl dy td nny ky gt ke gw, selamat ya. hadiahnya bs d ambil d kaiser karl ring 34 plg lambat minggu dpan. panitia tidak akan menanggung biaya apapun.
kalo pertanyaan itu ditujukan hanya untuk hari ini, jwbnny akan sangat gampang : gw mw liburan. gw mw libur kuliah minggu ini. gw mw zeitinsel bwt otak n hati nurani *bwarghh*. knp ? krn mndadak ada bnyk pertanyaan yg slama ini cm muter² d kepala gw tanpa gw tw kpn gw akan dpt jawabannya. n hr ini tanpa diduga dan dinyana, satu² pertanyaan gw terjawab. ato at least gw dpt pencerahan lah. itu dimulai sjak saat nykp gw tlvn. dy blg 1 klmt yg bkin gw merasa 1 beban gw d angkat dr pundak. abis itu gw makan n dimulailah hr tidak jelas gw. i catch up in a conversation with a friend of mine which turned to be another epiphany. egal, apakah pencerahan itu dtg dgn cara yg menyenangkan or in a hard way. tp yg pasti stlh itu gw merasa gw dpt 1 lg free space in my brain. n gw yakin, entah bsk, lusa, bln dpan, free space itu akan kembali besetzt lg. lalu otak gw akan full lg dgn pertanyaan² lain yg ga kalah ga penting dr yg uda ada skr. kpn gw akan dpt epiphany lg ? well gw gtw. but it will surely come someday.
kalo pertanyaan itu ditujukan untuk jangka panjang, jwbnny mgkn akan sangat absurd : gw mw dkch ksempatan bwt mendapatkan sbanyak mgkn hal ga jelas yg ada d dunia ini. knp ? mgkn krn gw tipe org berani mati. hey i need bunch of experience in my life cuz i just get one single life to lived. kl hdp gw sll datar n menyenangkan, gw akan segera kehilangan adrenalin bwt ngelewatin abendteuer of life. lalu hdp gw akan jd flat. untungnya sih sampe skr hidup gw sangat roller coaster wannabe yah. jd gw ga usah panik ga jelas n sibuk nyari gara gara ksana kmari demi sebuah abendteuer. and to all of u, yg sudah ikut berpartisipasi memeriahkan hidup gw, i would like to say thankies.
shit maan. gw mendadak ngantuk parah. so i will definitely catch up with u later for more details about this post. lick u around !
so actually posting gw yg ini tertunda 4 jm dr published time yg seharusnya. stlh tutup tlvn ada bbrp kjadian yg tll menarik n sayang kl dlewatin. n somehow gw jg ga bs kabur dr kejadian² menarik itu krn mgkn itu uda tercantum d schedule hidup gw hr ini. in the end ? no regret. gw yakin jalan yg gw lewatin hr ini dmaksudkan untuk menjadi baik. menjadi lebih dr hari² sebelumnya. egal, lebih dlm hal apapun. gw ga menyesal krn sampe hr ini gw ttp blum bkin tgs mathe gw. gw ga menyesal krn hr ini gw sangat tidak produktif. mgkn entah gmn gw tw kl gw butuh energi extra bwt berpikir ttg hr ini. hari yg cm ada 1x spanjang hdp gw. unrepeated. n as usual : ada hal penting yg terjadi hr ini. heheh. se-ordinary apapun hr loe, pasti ada sesuatu yg mgkn dbawah alam sadar loe akan ikut mempengaruhi kelanjutan hdp loe d hari² selanjutnya. n keputusan yg loe ambil hr itu jg ikut bermain. menyesal ? puas ? biasa biasa aja ? naja terserah loe.
untuk ukuran seorang pemikir, mgkn gw masuk kelas kacangan. kacangnya jg mgkn kacang tanah biasa yg harganya ga mahal. n gw ga pnh mengclaim diri gw sbagai seorang pemikir. gw cm anak ga ingusan umur 19 taun 9 bln yg sok sok bijak dlm memandang hdp gw. gw cm berusaha bwt mengerti, knp ada hal² yg ga bs gw mengerti. nah bingung ga ? no big deal, gw jg bingung ko. jd drpd stlh baca blog gw jidat loe pd mengkerut smua, mnding ngmgin hal² yg santai aja. td gw br aja dtanya sm 1 org : mau loe apa sih ? taraa ! pertanyaan itu gw nobatkan as question of the day. bwt org yg ngerasa kl dy td nny ky gt ke gw, selamat ya. hadiahnya bs d ambil d kaiser karl ring 34 plg lambat minggu dpan. panitia tidak akan menanggung biaya apapun.
kalo pertanyaan itu ditujukan hanya untuk hari ini, jwbnny akan sangat gampang : gw mw liburan. gw mw libur kuliah minggu ini. gw mw zeitinsel bwt otak n hati nurani *bwarghh*. knp ? krn mndadak ada bnyk pertanyaan yg slama ini cm muter² d kepala gw tanpa gw tw kpn gw akan dpt jawabannya. n hr ini tanpa diduga dan dinyana, satu² pertanyaan gw terjawab. ato at least gw dpt pencerahan lah. itu dimulai sjak saat nykp gw tlvn. dy blg 1 klmt yg bkin gw merasa 1 beban gw d angkat dr pundak. abis itu gw makan n dimulailah hr tidak jelas gw. i catch up in a conversation with a friend of mine which turned to be another epiphany. egal, apakah pencerahan itu dtg dgn cara yg menyenangkan or in a hard way. tp yg pasti stlh itu gw merasa gw dpt 1 lg free space in my brain. n gw yakin, entah bsk, lusa, bln dpan, free space itu akan kembali besetzt lg. lalu otak gw akan full lg dgn pertanyaan² lain yg ga kalah ga penting dr yg uda ada skr. kpn gw akan dpt epiphany lg ? well gw gtw. but it will surely come someday.
kalo pertanyaan itu ditujukan untuk jangka panjang, jwbnny mgkn akan sangat absurd : gw mw dkch ksempatan bwt mendapatkan sbanyak mgkn hal ga jelas yg ada d dunia ini. knp ? mgkn krn gw tipe org berani mati. hey i need bunch of experience in my life cuz i just get one single life to lived. kl hdp gw sll datar n menyenangkan, gw akan segera kehilangan adrenalin bwt ngelewatin abendteuer of life. lalu hdp gw akan jd flat. untungnya sih sampe skr hidup gw sangat roller coaster wannabe yah. jd gw ga usah panik ga jelas n sibuk nyari gara gara ksana kmari demi sebuah abendteuer. and to all of u, yg sudah ikut berpartisipasi memeriahkan hidup gw, i would like to say thankies.
shit maan. gw mendadak ngantuk parah. so i will definitely catch up with u later for more details about this post. lick u around !
I AM GIVING UP !
what if we stop having a ball
what if the paint chips from the wall
what if there is always cups in the sink
what if im not what u think i am
what if i fall further than u
what if u dream of somebody new
what if i never let u win
and chase u with a rolling pin
well. what if i do ?
cuz i am giving up on making passes
and i am giving up on half empty glasses
and i am giving up on greener grasses
i am giving up
what if our baby comes in after nine
what if ur eyes close before mine
what if u lose urself sometimes
then i'll be the one to find u
save in my heart
cuz i am giving up on making passes
and i am giving up on half empty glasses
and i am giving up on greener grasses
i am giving up for u
giving up - ingrid michaelson
what if the paint chips from the wall
what if there is always cups in the sink
what if im not what u think i am
what if i fall further than u
what if u dream of somebody new
what if i never let u win
and chase u with a rolling pin
well. what if i do ?
cuz i am giving up on making passes
and i am giving up on half empty glasses
and i am giving up on greener grasses
i am giving up
what if our baby comes in after nine
what if ur eyes close before mine
what if u lose urself sometimes
then i'll be the one to find u
save in my heart
cuz i am giving up on making passes
and i am giving up on half empty glasses
and i am giving up on greener grasses
i am giving up for u
giving up - ingrid michaelson
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