i hate that i hate u

i hate u
oh i really do
dont ask me why cuz i wont be able to explain

i hate gigling by myself everytime i read ur message on my cellphone
i hate seeing my inbox gets full just with ur messages
i hate myself everytime i have to delete some of them
i hate capturing ur name as one of those missed call list
i hate my heartpulse everytime u call me back again n again
i hate smiling at myself, laughing out loud anytime we talk each other *i know i have no behaviour*
i hate that butterfly feeling in my tummy everytime i see u online

i hate being stuck in the middle of the conversation cuz im running out of words
i hate being dumm n dumber anytime i couldnt understand ur jokes *dont i look like a stupido ?*
i hate being such a stubborn, thinking i wont fall asleep but in fact i do
i hate falling asleep for the thousand times
i hate my brain capacity, why are u so small ?
i hate it cuz i can barely remember what we were talking about last night
i hate talking while im sleeping
i hate everytime u tell me what i actually said when im too sobber to talk
i hate waking up in the morning, realizing that my earphones are still on my ear
i hate realizing i didnt brush my teeth n wash my face last night cuz i prefer to wait for ur call than to see ur number as a missed call as i go to the bathroom

i hate laying on my bed for quite a long time so i can rewind every single conversation we made
i hate sitting in front of my laptop, re-read-ing our chat
i hate wasting my time with this kind of habbit
i hate admiting and agreeing, this isnt a-wasting-time-habbit at all
i hate knowing the probability u will read this post
i hate wondering ur reaction after u read this junk
i hate waiting
i hate observing

i hate u
oh i really do
i hate laying here n dying except u would come n lay n die with me *ok i know its getting lebay now*