por favor

ich will nach deutschland. echt jetzt. its not that i dont enjoy my holiday at all. just like i dont fit in here anymore. it could be a wrong-planned-holiday-at-home. kali ini gw gtw ini konsekuensi ato konsistensi ato mgkn dua²nya. konsekuensi krn gw balik saat smua anak kampus hrs kuliah n gw stuck drmh do nothing except writing on this stupid blog or listening to utube. konsistensi krn my mom told me to go back home n i also agreed even gw tw kl gw balik d bulan² ky gini ga akan ada yg nemenin gw jln krn most of them dluar kota. gw konsisten dgn konsekuensi yg hrs gw tanggung. n gw ngejalanin smua konsekuensi itu dgn konsisten. n skr gw gtw lg apa artinya konsisten n konsekuen. great

n gw mulai mengutuki knp indo hrs pny zeitdifferenze 6 jam sm deutschland. krn gw jd ga bs sms tmn gw bwt nanyain hal yg dr kmrn bkin gw deg²an. n gw mengutuki knp indo cuacanya ky saklar lampu. panas ujan cerah mendung lembab debuan. krn gw jd bersin mulu dsini. well drmh sm nykp emank plg enak. u get all what u want. ok ga smua, but most of them. buktinya gw batal ntn konser ballet tmn gw hr minggu krn mblnya mw dpake nykp gw bwt bantuin urus konsumsi d acara lustrum grj. could u imagine this : nykp loe prefer nganter jmput 5 biji ibu² bwt k pastoran n ngurus konsumsi lustrum drpd minjemin mbl k anaknya yg br plng n uda janji sm tmnny bwt ntn konser ballet ? n gw d drop gt aja d grj dr jm stgh 9 siang n pulangnya dbiarin jalan kaki krmh nyebrang jalanan yg ramenya ky apaan tau smentara gw mch lmyn parno sm motor n anti sm abang² geje d pinggir jalan ? n nykp br akan plng jm 4 sore which means gw smskl ga pny chance bwt ntn ballet tmn gw krn acaranya mulai jm 4 sore d TIM n how could i reach TIM in just a couple of minutes with this fucking road condition ?! tell me how. gw jg ga akan bs ntn konser yg jm 11 siang krn biar gmn jg itu mobil hrs ada drmh jm stgh 9 bwt dpake nykp jmpt konco²nya ibu² 5 biji k pastoran. geez. why is she so mean ?

fyi i didnt argue with my mom. i keep my mouth shut cuz i dont wanna ruin this-already-ruined-by-a-wrong-arrival-timing-holiday. n i hate him. quite much for being such an ignorance. actually he isnt. but still im sucked. and this stupid reunion. n this wrong haircut. und das auto, das ich zur werkstatt bringen muss weil es komisches geräusch macht. und weil der automatic schlüssel kaputt ist. warum bringt sie es nicht zur werkstatt ? warum bloß ? ist es einer großer zeitverlust, auto zur werkstatt zu bringen obwohl es für ihre eigene wohlhaft ist ? aber trotzdem, sage ich nichts. ich halte meinen mund zu.

i know this should be a power boosting for the next 1 1/2 year till i come back here again. to face the real world in the university. to have something to remember when im falling down. to keep my faith n spirit shine even just a little. but i miss my freedom. i miss my own life without irritating cousins around who keep on looking at u like u are cool or something like that. who keep on sticking around u eventhough u told them not to. it sucks. i never have any brother or sister. this life is only mine. egoist ? jup bin ich. i need no sucker to ruin my precious life. it is hard enough with its ordinary intricts. what would that be if u put another trouble on it ? how could it be so meaningfull if u cant enjoy it ? u have the right to live ur own life in every single way u want to. not to be driven by such a-kurang-kerjaan-sok-sibuk-person called orang tua or orang yg dtuakan. luckily nykp gw ga gt. she is cool i have to admit. just a bit conservative cuz im the only child n a girl. but i like her much. that much to make me keep on coming home cuz she is my only reason.

let me enjoy my holiday please !


and please dont let the rain drops