healed

actually i have lotta things to do tonite. but it would be much better if i clean my head first (:

i dont -n i wont ever- know how life works. maybe i want to know n maybe i dont. cm kdg ada bnyk hal yg mampir d hdp loe n loe smskl gtw gmn cara nyelesainnya. n loe sampe d 1 titik dmn loe give up on life for a moment. u just do what u want, do what u have to do, without knowing whats next or whats gonna happened if u do so. time heals u for sure. it just.. maybe u need long time to be healed. why ? mgkn krn saat loe sdang dtolong oleh waktu, loe keras kpala n ngrasa kl mslh loe hrs slsai immediately. u have no time to be wasted. like 24h arent enough for a day.

i was in that position. exactly a month ago my mom realized that i smoke. until now. things started to get ruined. theres no more nice relationship between my mom n me. we talked each other but it was rubish. we got angry. she cried. i sucked. things gone nuts. she didnt trust me. i kinda hate her for acting in a weird way. pokonya gada yg bnr saat kita ngbrl n it felt like im gonna hung up everytime she calls. i gave up on her thoughts. i think i lost her trust. she thought she lost me. she said i wasnt the child she knew for years. wow it was much. well there are still lotta things but i cant write it down in here. just so u know how bad our relationship was. until a friend of mine told me to act like adults do.

she could give u advices. she could tell u her thoughts. she could say what are -for her- right or wrong. but in the end u are the one who takes the decision. u know how are things here goin. u are the one who faces it. if u take an action, u will also be the one who gets the reaction.

jd inti omongan tmn gw itu adalah, jgn pnh mengambil suatu kputusan atas dasar pertimbangan dr org lain yg kurang tau gmn posisi loe saat ini. kl loe uda ambil kputusan, loe hrs bs mempertanggungjawabkan hal itu full scara pribadi. jgn pnh ambil suatu kputusan, trus abis itu loe blame org lain yg uda überreden loe krn tnyt hasilnya ga sesuai sm yg loe harapkan. grow up ! dont be such a bastard. hubungannya sm kasus gw adalah, egal gw mw lanjut stuky ato ga, gw yg akan nanggung akibatnya n gw hrs bs mach weiter dgn akibat itu. gw ga bole blaming keadaan or even org lain. kl tnyt masakan gw pahit, ya itu salah gw sndiri knp gw masak pake pare pdhl jlas² gw tw pare itu pahit. nykp gw bs ngmg sampe berbusa nyuruhin gw berhenti. tp kl gw sndiri gmw berhenti, it wont work. gw akan ttp sll pgn hung up stiap dy tlvn n dy akan ttp curigaan sm gw n keadaan akan jd ga enak terus²an. so its all up to me. mw ttp stuky dgn konsekuensi xyz ato mw apa?

sesingkat itu omongan tmn gw tp sebesar itu efeknya ke gw. so i told my mom what i want. i told her almost everything. i told her im planning to quit by the end of the month. not bcuz of her not for her. its bcuz of me n just for me. i began so i ended. u dont know why i started to smoke so dont u ask me why i quit. n surprisingly she is fine with that. there arent but or what if. there are just yes i trust u n u become that child i knew again. n things went well. we both healed in our own length of time. this is the price i -n maybe also my mom- have to pay. quite much but it didnt broke us. well. what doesnt kill u makes u stronger, rite? (: