gnite !

sisa 4 hr sblum gw bener² cabut dr sini n balik k indo lagi. gtw knp kali ini rasanya dataar bgd. seneng sih mw balik. cm mgkn krn rentang wkt yg tll mepet jd euforianya ga tll berasa kali ini. yeah, gw br balik indo stgh taun yg lalu. balik yg full surprise n ngelakuin bnyk hal walopun waktu yg ada saat itu sempit bgd. rmh tuh kyny fungsinya cm bwt mandi n tdr doank. makan srg dluar. almost everyday jalan mlulu. entah jln sm nykp, sm tmn, or even jln sndirian krn mw nyuci mobil ato dsuru transfer k bank sm nykp. balik 4 minggu tp quality time-nya berasa bgd. mgkn krn timingnya pas sm lbr smstr anak kuliah ya, jd tmn² gw jg free smua. kali ini balik 8 minggu n tmn² gw sbagian bsar lg hectic kuliah. emank sih, kali ini gw mw lbh bnyk spend time sm nykp dbanding sm tmn gw. but could u imagine an 8 weeks long holiday without friends in ur own homeland ? 8 minggu trakhir ini jg gw sndirian aja dsini tp at least gw krja. ato ada aja tmn yg dtg or nginep drmh gw. n dsini mch bs jln² pake kaki n liat hal² baru krn ga polusi. nah d indo cb loe jln kaki siang² deh. gosong iya kecopetan iya bau ketek iya cape iya tp ga happy smskl. oke i know it sounds like im not interested at all. doch bin ich. gw seneng ko gw mw balik lg terutama krn reuni sd. but as another friend of mine n i said : smakin dket sm hr H loe mw balik indo, euforianya berkurang sdikit sdikit sampe akhirnya abis smskl. saat loe bs liat sumatra dr pesawat rasanya emank keren bgd. tp saat loe landing n kluar dr terminal 2 soekarno hatta, part of ur heart is breaking in a sudden. saat itu loe tau, tepat 4 minggu ato 8 minggu dr hari itu, loe hrs balik lg k jrmn ato k negara lain n face the real world once again yg smntr ini loe tinggal untuk bersenang² d homeland. ilang sudah euforia yg ada slama loe deg²an gelisah nunggu hari H bwt terbang balik indo. posisinya dgantiin sm suatu rasa yg undescribable. berantakan.

gw emank bbrp kali ngmg k tmn² gw kl kali ini rasanya gw ga niat bgd bwt balik. entah knp jgn tny. part of me says gw lg nemuin mainan baru dsini. n ky anak kecil yg keranjingan mainan baru, gw ga rela cuti dr mainan baru gw ini bwt 2 bln. part of me says im too tired. tired of waiting. tired of bein waited. cape dtanya berkali² kpn plng stell-la-tei-tel-te-saii-darling-hunni ? cape di claim : seneng ya mw plng. or kl gw jd loe sih gw bkl excited bgd plng. or loe enak bgd plng mulu stell. or loe ko plngny sbntr bgd ? etc etc. cape nunggu zulassung yg sampe skr blm dtg jg. gw serem joo. gw nanti ga bs jwb mantep : kdokteran om-tante-oma-opa kl gw dtanya : kuliah apa dsana ? cape mikirin gmn caranya biar overweight gw lolos. cape krn gw emank cape. 3 minggu blkgn gw tdr dbwh jm 3 mulu. mlh 1x tdr jm 6 pagi bgn jm 8. 3x tdr jm 4 bgn jm 8. sisanya tdr jm 3 bgn jm stgh 9. even gw 3 minggu ini krja mlulu, gw ttp bgadang tdr pagi. sampe ada tmn gw yg nny : loe lg sesuain sm siklus indo yah ? n gw jwb : hahah. gw ga pnh jet lag anw. entah knp ky ada bnyk hal yg spinning in my head. bbrp hal yg tdny gw pkr uda fix n beres 100% tp tnyt pkran gw itu meleset n gw hrs step carefully spy gw ga hrs ngejalanin plan B. one of them asked me once n dy berhasil nebak dgn bnr apa yg skr lg ada d otak gw. yeah. exactly those things. skr gw gmw ngmg bnyk dl ttg itu. nanti aja kl smua uda klar br gw refleksi lg. really hope im gonna take the best path. not just for me, but also for them all. cape fisik cape mental cape hati. hahah lebay. ga lah. cm cape mental yg kyny lmyn berat plus cape fisik yg emank blkgn lg dforsir bgd so that i could collapse in any time.

am not in a good condition. lg sensi abiss blkgn. not in that annoying way but in an underpressure way. ktambahan pikiran sdikiit aja gw bs kalang kabut. ended with a symptom only few friends of mine have known before. trus gw buka jendela kamar dan.. dmulai lah kbiasaan jelek gw itu. kbiasan jelek yg baru² ini mkin jadi. terutama krn 2 tmn gw yg blkgn lg rajin bgd mampir k hidup gw (generally). one of them bhkn baru plng td jm stgh 11 dr rmh gw stlh kita bkin mrtbk telur n mnm wein bareng. ich hab noch halbe fläsche, die ich wahrscheinlich am donnerstag abend zum ende bringen werde. dy itu tmn br yg ga gw sangka² smskl. n fyi : my new friendship started with a curhat session recently. so does this one. geez too sleepy to write or even tooth brushing. am gonna sleep now. lick u soon (: